It’s been a struggle, finding the words to sum up my thoughts about my friend Theresa, but I pinky-promised her a couple of weeks ago that I would do my best. My name is Melinda, and what I ended up with here is not your traditional obituary. Instead, it’s more like one friend’s love letter to the person who means the world to me. But that’s ok, because she told me I had her full permission to write whatever I felt like.

Theresa Ann Swindell McNutt was born April 26 1958, the eldest of 4 beautiful daughters to Glen Austin Swindell and Mary Katherine Menotti Swindell, a family with a rich Italian ancestry that Theresa was very proud to be a part of. She was the mother of two wonderful sons that she adored completely, but becoming Nonna to her four grandchildren might have truly been her peak life experience. Theresa’s love for her children and grandchildren was unconditional, unbreakable, and unfathomable.

Theresa and her sisters Barbara, Tammy, and Jackie were all born and raised in the Dickinson area, attending grade school there as well. On Theresa’s very first day of 1st grade, she was about to make a decision that would bless her for the remainder of her days. Melanie Magruder, also a 1st grader, was sitting alone in the back of the little Catholic school bus, having already been ditched by her older brothers. The bus stopped in front of Grandpa Menotti’s driveway, and Theresa, with her fancy new store-bought dress and her long blonde ponytail, boarded. She took a look around, then flounced straight up to Melanie and said, “Do you want to be my friend?” and, so lucky for both of them, Melanie did! They bonded so well and so strongly that they stuck together through all the years of their lives, so close they went on multiple childhood summer vacations with each other’s families. They lived near enough to ride their 10-speed bikes to each other’s house, so Melanie was eyewitness to Theresa’s devotion to Donnie Osmond, evidenced by all four of her bedroom walls, floor to ceiling, being covered with his photos cut from teen magazines. Theresa and Melanie learned how to play guitar together, and played summer softball before their freshman year of high school. With her trademark megawatt smile, all the boys harbored crushes on Theresa, some secret and others not-so-much, but who could blame them? In Melanie’s own words, Theresa was so cute she even made the family station wagon look good. Theresa taught Melanie many skills in life, not least of which was how to properly eat a pomegranate and how to cook Spam. She also taught her how to drive in the Swindell girls’ Jeep, and covered for Melanie when she drove that Jeep right up to the front door of the Swindell house before she could stop. Theresa hopped into the driver’s seat and sped away before the near-miss was discovered. She treasured Melanie’s lifelong friendship completely. I know this because I knew a whole lot about Melanie (including the school bus story) long before I ever even got to meet her. Theresa spoke so often and so highly about their decades-long friendship, wanting people to understand the depth of feeling they’d developed for each other.

High school photos captured Theresa as the quintessential 70s cheerleader and volleyball player for the Dickinson Gators, and she was awarded an athletic scholarship upon graduation in 1976. After college, she chose a career in education, touching the lives of well over a thousand students during three decades in the classroom. She spent 17 years as a math teacher at Walt Disney Elementary in Alvin, then finished her career at Goforth Elementary in League City, retiring in 2017. Her friend Ceresa had this to say: “Our team at Goforth Elementary was like a work family, and our 4th grade team was especially close. Teachers work hard, but Theresa was never too busy to help others, regardless of what was going on in her life. I went through divorce when her Daddy was sick. Even then, she noticed me. She saw worry and checked in on me. She saw pain and offered a hug. When I was overwhelmed with new grade level curriculum, she helped with anything I needed. She made copies, covered duty, brought lunch, gave hugs, and we all laughed through tears. She took care of all of us. Theresa was gold.”

Theresa was truly a mentor teacher, whether officially or unofficially, and built strong friendships with multiple teachers at these campuses over the years. The ripples of her influence on other educators will resonate for years to come. We are all so fortunate that she let us call her ‘friend’. She and I didn’t meet until the fall of 2001, when I started teaching 4th grade as her partner teacher at Walt Disney Elementary. While my friendship with her isn’t nearly as long as Melanie’s, it sure was deep.

She and I packed a LOT into these last 24 years! Many concerts, road trips, and airplane ticket purchases were made together. She was adventurous, and I loved that about her. One of our first friend outings was to a Bon Jovi concert (her idea, after she walked into my classroom and caught me checking out the newly released rodeo lineup) but leading up to the show, I was so stressed about what on earth she and I would find to talk about for all those hours together. I kept picturing lengthy awkward silences throughout the evening because at that time I didn’t think she really even liked me! But from the minute we got into the car together that day, we’ve never really shut up! She was my preferred travel partner for many years, and together we’ve stood in some achingly beautiful places and saw such strange and curious things, most recently a museum on the slopes of Mt St Helens where we tried (unsuccessfully) to sign up for a nighttime Bigfoot expedition into the dense forests of the Pacific Northwest, just for giggles. Together, we’ve experienced the thrill of riding a jet boat at 55 mph in two feet of water on the Rogue River, we stood on the edge of Meteor Crater, we’ve been ‘standing on a corner in Winslow Arizona,’ and we’ve personally delivered 2 trays of chicken-fried bacon to the Sweet Potato Queen herself, author Jill Connor Browne, at her Houston hotel and received cats-eye shades as our just reward. Theresa was so much fun to be around, and had just enough of an inappropriate humor to catch me off-guard before it eventually rubbed off on me. She and I could have entire conversations with just our eyebrows, and we’ve laughed so long and so hard together that tears would run down my face and my stomach muscles hurt. Our last concert trip was George Strait (again, her idea) in 2023, and she presented me with his tour dates and locations then put me in charge of picking which one we’d attend. One of our most memorable trips happened early in our friendship, to Oregon and Washington State, so I chose King George’s Seattle date in order to repeat some of those experiences. While waiting in line to enter the stadium, she charmed every single person around us, laughingly explaining that we’d traveled all the way from Texas for this, the same as George Strait. Then we froze our tails off at the top of that stadium when the wind blew in off the ocean, but it was totally worth it to see her smile. We spent a whole week together exploring, hiking, laughing, wondering, shopping, and taking in as many experiences as we could stuff into the daylight hours.

Over the years, Theresa and I shared our deepest secrets, our hearts’ desires, our hopes and dreams for both ourselves and for our children’s futures. We were both single parents, just trying to do the best we could but acknowledging that we got it so wrong much of the time, serving as both mother and father to our children. We’d also each lost our fathers well before we were ready, and from one Daddy’s girl to another, we bonded even more tightly over those losses. Some of my happiest days have been spent floating in her backyard pool, listening to music and talking about everything and nothing. I tried to educate her on 70s and 80s singers, whose actual music she loved but could never get the band name right. When I quizzed her on who was singing a particular song, she’d cock her head to side and throw out her go-to answer: “Steely Dan?”

One thing I learned about Theresa is this: The only four men in her whole life who EVER truly deserved her love and devotion were her sweet Daddy, Glen Swindell, her sons, Blake and Bryan, and her grandson Connor, who is just now becoming a man but it’s already clear that he solidly fits into this category. Her sons were her pride and joy, the reason she kept going when she thought she couldn’t, the source of her immense strength and the fortitude. She was so pleased to witness the men they’ve grown to be and the adult lives they’ve now built for themselves. She was especially proud that they are good husbands to Cassie and Roxie, and for giving her Connor and Mia and Bethany and Cade as grandbabies. Having been her friend long before she became a Nonna, I got to see the changes each brought to her life, in the best way possible. When Connor was born, it was as if she blossomed in her new role, and she treasured each of those babies as she’d treasured her own.

Theresa was the consummate oldest daughter, blessed with a nurturing personality and selflessly caring for her sweet mama Mary Katherine. Even after her diagnosis, when a more selfish person might have turned inward, Theresa worried about her mother every single day, wanting to ensure her peace and comfort to the best of her ability. That selflessness extended to others as well. We’ve watched her juggle all of her own responsibilities and unpleasant tasks on the table before her, especially those involving her treatments, but then she’d get a phone call from someone expressing a need so she’d add it to the mix, barely missing a beat. Right up until her final two weeks, Theresa was trying to buy a bigger house to accommodate family members that she loved so dearly. She always, always put the needs of others before her own, and a lot of people could take a lesson or two from her to become better humans. Theresa was a true force of nature with such a beautiful spirit, and an amazing ally to have in my corner. Each time we spoke, we always said ‘I love you’ to each other, and I’m so grateful that she didn’t have to wonder how I felt about her. Melanie Magruder Lease and I were both with her for one of her last emergency room visits, and she told us, with love shining out of her eyes, how much it meant to have us both there at the same time. She was the sister that Melanie and I got to choose for ourselves, and in that moment, the love we each have for her was stripped down to its very essence—just showing up for her like she showed up for everyone else. Love like that has the power to cut through everything else, and we were grateful for the opportunity to live that love out loud.

Theresa fought to live, but her body gave up long before her spirit did. She had many visitors, friends, and family who came to her house to love on her as much as they could during her last couple of weeks. Exactly one week before she left us, she tearfully expressed how overwhelmed she was with gratitude for “so many angels showing up in my life!” Knowing we were losing her has been extremely difficult for all of us who love her, and the anticipatory grief has been massive. But we know the true grief will come after, each time we pick up the phone to call her then realize we can’t do that anymore. There will never be another friend just like her, and that absence leaves a Theresa-shaped hole in a lot of people’s hearts. The depth of grief we all feel reflects the equal depth of the love and connection we have with her. Grief like this is just love with no place to go, and it’s the high price we pay for loving others. I feel really sorry for people who never got to know her, because they totally missed out and will lead much poorer lives for it. As she began to fade earlier in the week and confusion set in, Theresa asked me if I thought her Daddy might be coming to see her, and I was able to assure her with my entire heart that she most certainly would be with him very soon.

Theresa departed this world on Friday, August 22 2025, leaving it the same way she lived in it – lifted up and surrounded by people she loved and people who love her. It has been a sacred responsibility and an honor none of us took lightly, to finish walking her home until her sweet Daddy could reach out and take her hand. Her spirit remains eternal, now free from the pain and suffering of this world. May our memories of her always be a blessing.

Melinda Louvier (AKA Fried Pie)

In her honor, there will be a visitation on Friday, August 29, 2025 from 6:00pm to 8:00pm with a rosary at 7:00pm at Crowder Funeral Home in Dickinson, Texas. A funeral service will be held on Saturday, August 30, 2025 at 9:00am at True Cross Catholic Church in Dickinson, Texas.